EmilyEngdahl<3

A Teenager Battling Epilepsy.

2011-02-18T14:05:00.000-08:00

I'm Emily, an average 14 year old girl living a normal teenagers life. I live in Lakeville, MN with my parents and my 17 year old sister. I have a boyfriend named Daniel and a few best friends. One day over the summer while my parents were out of town, I woke up and felt a little weird and out of the ordinary. Doing as i do, I just ignored it. I went straight to the shower. No food, water or anything in my system. I remember going into the shower and starting to shave. Then next thing I new everything went black. My sister heard a loud bang not knowing what was going on. She went to check on me and found me on the floor, unconscious, and staring blankly at her face white as a sheet. She called my name but no respond. She ran, got her phone, and called my parents with nothing but fear. My mom listened and told her to call 9-11. So she did. After she talked to them and gave me the phone (I dont remember this, I was still out.) I started talking rubbish to the operator. My sister took the phone, helped me down stares and layed me down. "Stay here, dont move until the ambulance comes, okay?" She said to me as she walked away to tell my grandma what was going on. I fallowed her, with no recall of what i was doing. She found me out side of my grandma's door. "What the hell are you doing?" she cries. I replied with just a jumble of noises put together. She carried me upstairs. A few moments later, The ambulance came. I remember coming back to consciousness and screaming "what are you doing here? who the hell are you people?." "Were here to help you." By then my parents rushed through the door, nervous as fuck and crying. I told them i was just fine.
The next day I was rushed to the doctor. They told me I had a Vaselvegal or something of another, But she suggested I go see a brain doctor who told me i only passed out. No big deal. A week or so later I started 8th grade. I made it through half of the year, Fainting free. Until one day in December at 5 am, I went to take a shower. I was tired and sore. I got in and the exact same thing happened. Except this time My parents came in to find me flopping and shaking on the ground. My father had a sister with medical conditions and knew exactly what was going on. I was having a Seizure. If you don't know what that is, Its a uncontrolled electrical activity in the brain, which may produce a physical convulsion. My Dad took after of what his father did to make Jean(Dads sister) come back to her senses and started yelling, making sure i didnt choke, and making sure i was alright. After a few minutes of my uncontrollable convulsions, I came to my senses and found myself sitting laying next to my sister on the couch, tired, sore and feeling sick. I slept for several more hours. I woke up, confused about what was going on. I started talking to my mom, Asking her questions and being worried as hell. I went back to the Neru to find some answers. It only took an EEG, an EKG, an ultra-sound, and an MRI to find out what I had. I'm assuming you probably figured out what i have, which is Epilepsy. Epilepsy is a brain disorder in which clusters of nerve cells, or neurons, in the brain sometimes signal abnormally. I was speechless. The only things I had on my mind was what am i going to do, Will I be treated differently? What will people think of me? The doctor told me its nothing to worry about. I'll be fine. All i have to do is take 2 prescribed pills a day. The side effects were only moody-ness, But I still feel that way. Their were days I never want to get up and their are days when I can't help but think im different and more worthless than everybody else and me wanting to die. On days like that I ask god "why me? what did i do to deserve this?" Then think to myself that Its better i have this than someone else, and that god only gives you things you can handle. Even though i think that, I still have my worries and doubts.
I started getting the side effects, which were sometimes led to anger. I got mad at everyone, Even the ones I love the most. Like Daniel. It wasn't until a friend of mine told me how badly it was effecting the people around me. I felt even worse which didnt really help. I decided to hide them and bottle them up. Just become silent when i started feeling the side effects. It worked for a while but soon led to my crying at night and having more negative outlooks on life. After long, sad phone calls with Daniel and worrying to a point where i couldnt take it anymore, I confronted my mom on the feelings I were having. It took some understanding and talking through until she got it. After venting I felt better and closer to my mother. I felt more confident on telling my mom about how i felt. It took a few days and some thinking. I finally got it through my head that I can't let these things hold me back or make me feel worse about myself. Having the worries and doubts about me having Epilepsy only made me feel awful. You can't let these things ruin your life or bring you down. You need to live your life while you have it, because you only have one. You have to think of the ones who love, care and cherish you. How do you think they'll feel like if your gone? And don't dare think no one does, because their is at least two people who do, Me and whether you believe in him or not God loves you. Remember that and don't deny it. No matter if you have a disease, troubles at home, confidence issues, or anything else. Remember their are people who you can talk and vent to. Their always their to help, Like me. Everyone has some insecurities or something wrong. But they get through it. Even me, A girl dealing with a disease that changed my life, For the better. So whoever else may discover this, I'm always here. No matter what. And if you decide to leave this earth I will cry and be devastated, Whether you like it or not, or whether you believe me or not. Its true. ♥♥

Well..Hi

2010-05-16T20:09:00.001-07:00

Hello. It is May-16-10..And as of one year ago i fell in love with a boy. A Boy named Gavin Vernig. I didnt kno who this boy was..i knew his best friends isaiah, but not him. So on the 15 of may was a teen night. I went with a few friends and ran into isaiah. I was hanging out with isaiahs girlfriend heather so the three of us talked. At around 11 that night i got a phone call from a strange number- It was isaiah on gavins phone. I talked to them for around an hour. The next day i, being the weird person i am, Texted this mysterious number-which was gavins number. I talked to this lovely boy ALL day. I grew quite fond of him. I started to fall for him. But weirdly he fell for me too. That night at around 11ish he asked me to be his. I took up that offer and to this day i do not regret it. Dear Mr.Gavin Vernig, I Love You more than anyone could. Happy Anniversery Sweetie. Your amazing and i dont kno what i could do with out you. You are one of the bes things in my life alone. You amaze me.

Love, Emily

Im Back :]

2010-02-15T19:07:00.000-08:00

Hey Look Who it is..Lil ol' me.

Update: Well some things have gone down..get ready..Its been same old same old with a twist..Well Valentines day was yesterday- I hung out with my family and heather slept over, FUN, but today has gotten out of hand..Fighting and trying to my mind and things back on track..i think i need a break..grr. *forgets about it* Anywho if any of ou could, tell me how you make yourself feel better. Thanks tons! Love You All :]

Shout Outs:
Heather-Thanks so much. You Rock and Ily
Kayla-Love you,Your always their. your great
Chrisofer- Your a great brofer and thanks for being their.
Kane-Your Great,Thanks A ton.BBFL

Hello dears<3

2010-01-21T17:36:00.000-08:00

Welcome.I havnt posted in a while so please dont hate!! Anywho I am now so be happy !!<

An update on my boring life...YAY!!!-cheering-
Hmm..Well lets see..Ill start from december and move my way down. First i met an amazing friend..He has made a huge impact on my life which i am truly great full for. Then my dog jake brain disease got worse..we put him down on December, 17,09 -cries- i miss him terribly and he will forever be in my heart. A week after my sister came home!! YAY! it was the first time i saw her in 8 months...anywho it was fun for the most part until some family drama hit, Its still going on but its getting better bit by bit. Well huns that leads us up to here. Nothing good nor bad has happend since then. Ill keep you posted!!

My Lovely Shout Outs!( shout outs to the best people ever!)
Charlie..Your amazing. Your always their for me and im blessed to have a friend like you
Heather..Besties for life. Your a great friend and you can always make me smile. No mater what mood im in.
Emily..Your just plain and simple..AWESOME. Good times with you at school.love ittKayla-Ily sis. Always have a riot with you. your going to be a fantastic 16..GET YOUR LICENSE!
And last but not least Gavin..Ily dear. Your always their for me and making me feel amazing. oh and btw..Your Friggin Fantabulous hehe

Thats it for todays post. Talk to you later, tadertots! I love you all! Buh byeee<3>

Blahh

2009-05-22T21:26:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone,

Hope summer is going good for you all!
sorry i havent been on in a while!
but do one thing,
check this out k?
thanks you guys rock!!
byebye

heres the link=

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qYJmzYsGhGI

picture of me and summer!

Havent been on sorry!!

2009-03-17T17:10:00.000-07:00

Sorry!

2009-03-17T16:28:00.002-07:00

Im sorry i havent been on! ive been busy!
http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2007/01/i-sorry.jpg

2009-02-23T12:54:00.000-08:00

Hello and welcome

2009-02-16T14:51:00.000-08:00

This is a picture of my guitar in -color it is really red but i did some editing

2009-02-16T14:49:00.000-08:00

2009-02-15T18:53:00.000-08:00

This is my old dog and m sister i miss her so much her name was snickers!!!

2009-02-15T18:49:00.000-08:00

I LOVE PANIC! AT THE DISCO!! they rock and they have good sound!

ALL ABOUT ME!!

2009-02-04T12:34:00.000-08:00

Hey i'm emily! I LUV MUSIC!!!! I CANT LIVE WITHOUT IT!!